So its been a while since I written anything at all. I not so many words, life has been absolutely crazy! Between church and Uriels job we haven't had much time as a family and if you know me,I was anything but happy about it.
Just a couple days ago I received a letter from my Dad asking for a copy of a story I wrote in college. Oddly enough I had completely forgotten all about this story. Now, I say oddly because the subject of this story was a life changing event for me. Maybe another day I'll post a copy of it but for now, it was all about a week I spent in Oaxaca, Mexico in the mountains with a family of Mixteco Indians. The story talks about all the new experiences I faced both good and bad and the lessons I learned for it all. I was just going to print a copy & send it to my dad but first decided to read it once more. It brought tears to my eyes when I reminisced about the shacks these people lived in and how little food they had to eat yet how thankful they were to God for everything they had.
Here was I, sitting on my wonderfully comfy couch, drinking a glass of lemonade with and obscene about of ice and chatting with friends on my lap top. I watched as my daughter was crawling around on the floor playing with her toys here and there making little screams of excitement when she found something new. I should have smiled and been happy at the thought of everything yet, instead I was looking at our banking statement online and sulking. It had never been this low before and I still have no idea how we are going to pay our bills for the coming month. But, instead of trusting God and thanking Him for everything He has blessed me with I was racking my brain for things we could do sell and what we could do to get some more money.
As I finished reading the story tears just started to fall. Who had I become? I had lost sight of the things that were most important to me. My husband, my baby girl, but most importantly my God. I had pushed him so far to the side that He was almost out of sight. I was trying to fix things on my own knowing very well that it was hopeless to do things that way. So as I folded the story and placed it in the envelope to send I said a quiet prayer asking God to once again take control of my finances.
Life may be hard at times but without God, it would be absolutely unbearable.
